Question: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years and we’ve always been very affectionate and caring. I’m in my first year in college and he’s in his second. The way we interact is like we’re married already and he is a little boring. I want to have more fun in a relationship. I want him to be able to match my energy and my funniness. I don’t think that’s who he is though and I feel like if I don’t try to find someone funny and fun to be around then I’m cheating myself. I’m still in love with my current boyfriend and I know that it would shatter his heart (mine too) if we broke up. But at the same time, I think we could stay friends afterward. He would make a great and functional husband, but I feel like I need more in a companion than what I’m getting. I’m really conflicted about everything going on and it’s making me very sad.
Answer: I know first hand, exactly where you are coming from. So I’d like to share a story with you. Right after me and my ex-husband were separated I turned 21 years old. And like you, I wanted to enjoy my freedom and have some fun. I was not into dating but my friends felt so inclined to “hook me up” with someone. So I was introduced to a guy who seemed very boring. Don’t get me wrong, he was a complete gentleman and sweet as pie. But “he just doesn’t do it for me”, is what I kept telling myself. I found everything under the sun wrong with him including the fact that he was boring with hopes to convince myself he was not for me and I eventually ran him away. Long story short, now years down the line after experiencing that “fun guy” that was hard to get in touch with, cheated on me regularly and was just out of touch with reality. I found that the boring guy that I convinced myself I didn’t like, was actually the man of my dreams. No, he was not perfect but he was very close to it and most importantly, he was husband material. And to this day, he is still that boring guy I’d love to be with at this point in my life.
My point is, don’t sacrifice your forever guy for the temporarily fun guy. Trust me you will regret it later after your done having all that fun.
Sidenote: May I suggest you have a talk with him and express how you’d like to spend some time hanging out doing fun things. Start small and work with him when it comes to getting out more. Don’t try to change him, just express to him how much you think it’s sexy to spend some time having fun and watch his routine change over time. Especially if he’s out to make you happy. He will do anything under those circumstances.
Take care, and please keep in touch. Let us know what happens.
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